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The Fabulous Adventures of Astera: Writer/Actress for Hire

Meet Astera (aka: me), a star in her own mind. Our plucky little heroine has embarked on not one but two difficult, low-paying career paths: writing and acting. Witness the menial jobs! The unreasonable demands! The quirky friends and family! And the glimmer of success just ahead! Through it all, Astera maintains her core beliefs: 1) She is destined to be fabulous 2) Everything is more fun with a cocktail.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

My Many Jobs: A List

In no particular order, dating back to 1998

Editorial assistant, Los Angeles Business Journal (mostly involved rewriting press releases--still, my first paid journalism job!)
Research associate, Northwestern University (work-study)
Freelance writer, various clients (ah, the illustrious Novato Advance, my hometown newspaper)
Restaurant hostess, Westwood Brewing Company (I didn't even get tipped out)
ESL tutor for Russian mail-order bride (maybe they were really in love, but he had dentures and a toupee, and she was young and beautiful)
Homework buddy for apathetic sixth-grader and ADD third-grader (Yahtzee! was a very useful way to get the third-grader to practice adding and multiplying in his head)
Receptionist, Sports Club L.A. (really demanding rich people and celebrities)
Substitute teacher, public schools (I look young and I was only a few years older than the seniors--hijinks ensued)
Substitute teacher, private schools (chances for celebrity kid spotting!)
Event planning assistant, Grand Finale! Events (no respect for proper grammar--just check the Web site)
Associate editor, Field Force Automation (what does that even mean?)
Copy editor, Muscle & Fitness Hers (this was probably one of my best jobs, and I should have appreciated it more at the time)
Head writer of cover letters and resumes, Legal Authority (a terrible company that fired me for having the audacity to get cancer and ask for disability leave)
Telemarketer, Great Expectations (preying on lovelorn singles)
Ad sales rep, random interior design magazine (I was supposedly "in training" the whole time I was there, so the supervisor wouldn't give me any commissions)
Creative associate (unfortunately, there's nothing creative about it)
Content specialist, iPal.com (this was a cool concept, but I think the company is now defunct)
Spokesmodel, Lilly Rachel perfume (this sounds much more glamorous than it was. I was essentially a "spritzer"-I stood in Nordstrom and tried to get women to let me spritz them with perfume. It was a horrible scent, and I couldn't wait to shower it off at the end of each shift)
Extra, various TV shows and commercials (my biggest claim to fame thus far has been my part in a 1-800-DENTIST commercial. I had no lines, but I walked across the screen, and all my friends recognized me.)
Photographer's model, guy with an expensive new digital (this was kind of fun, and I had the good sense to keep all my clothes on, despite his requests, so no embarrassing topless photos of me will surface once I'm famous!)

Naturally, most of these jobs are not on my official resume!


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