----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ The Fabulous Adventures of Astera: Writer/Actress for Hire: On Newly-Married Life

The Fabulous Adventures of Astera: Writer/Actress for Hire

Meet Astera (aka: me), a star in her own mind. Our plucky little heroine has embarked on not one but two difficult, low-paying career paths: writing and acting. Witness the menial jobs! The unreasonable demands! The quirky friends and family! And the glimmer of success just ahead! Through it all, Astera maintains her core beliefs: 1) She is destined to be fabulous 2) Everything is more fun with a cocktail.

Monday, December 06, 2004

On Newly-Married Life

The other night, Greg and I went to dinner with our friend Sarah. She lives in L.A., so we don't see her all that often. Over salad, she asked us, "So, how's married life? Has it been a big adjustment?" Short answer: yes.

Greg and I didn't live together before we were married, so just getting used to being around each other all the time is an adjustment. Especially for me. I've never been good at sharing and I really, really like having my own space. I've never liked having roommates, and in college, I even got a special dispensation to have my own room in the sorority house. I had my own place for most of the time that Greg and I were dating, and I loved it. In fact, for a long time, I thought I might never get married, just because I didn't think I'd ever meet someone that I could tolerate, let alone love, on a daily basis. For the most part, I love having Greg around. But Virginia Woolf had it right--a room of one's own is a definite necessity. Unfortunately, our little condo barely allows for a corner of one's own. Because of our work schedules, I rarely get to have the house to myself. I leave before he does each morning, and I get home after him at night. He goes to the gym after work, but often, he'll still get home before I do. One weekend, Greg went out of town for a boys' weekend with my brother, and while I missed him, I also relished the simple pleasure of being totally, completely alone for a few days.

The two of us also have very different personalities. He's more hyper and is capable of doing a million things at once--he's convinced that he's got ADD (and sometimes, so am I). I am much more quiet and introspective. If I'm reading, then I'm reading. I'm not reading and listening to music and watching TV all at the same time. Greg likes to be surrounded by hubbub. I like to have silence. Sometimes, he'll go out to run an errand on the weekend and I'll switch off all the chatter and just enjoy the quiet.

And of course, we each have our little foibles and quirks. For instance, he leaves his beer caps on the counter for the beer fairy (me) to pick up and dispose of. And he knows that we recycle, and yet he'll place his bottles next to--not in--the recycling bag. Is it that much more effort to get the bottle in the bag? Also, he doesn't seem to realize that the toothpaste cap is precisely that--a cap. It doesn't work if it's not on the tube of toothpaste. He's obsessive about making the bed each morning, and yet his clothes pile up on the floor. And he has a mortal fear of dust, but the bathroom can become a slimy, moldy swamp before it will occur to him to wipe some of the crud out of the sink. But he does cook dinner, and when I cook, he's always on hand for KP duty.

Being married is about more than just living together, though. We've had to adopt a group mindset...it's no longer my money or his money, it's our money. And we now plan vacation times and holidays together. But it's really the little things that remind me that, wow! This is it! I'm married! When I started my new job, my mom was no longer my emergency contact. My husband was. And recently, a single friend complained about the trials of the dating world before looking at us and saying, "You're lucky you guys don't have to deal with that anymore." Now, when my husband compliments me, he no longer says, "You're the best girlfriend in the world." He says I'm the best wife.

Wife. Husband. Those are still words that we're getting used to. And although married life takes some adjustment, the most exciting thing about the future is knowing that Greg will be there.


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