Drained
This has been an emotionally draining weekend. Of course, Hurricane Katrina played into that and stirred up all sorts of anger and grief. But there have been some personal issues that I feel the need to vent about, too. Life has been a little less than fabulous lately.
I feel guilty complaining, because in reality, I am very, very lucky. I have a nice place to live. I have a loving husband and a great family and cool in-laws. I have wonderful friends. But my health problems are beginning to wear on me. Usually, I try to stay positive. Everyone has his or her burden in life, and mine, so far, has been less-than-stellar health. Collapsed lungs, cancer, fibroid, migraines...I'm only 29, but sometimes I feel like I spend more time at the doctor than some of the elderly do.
The latest thing is some kidney problem that necessitated a CT scan yesterday. Yes, on a Saturday. Apparently, it was "priority." I had to drink all this nasty stuff and get an IV, which I hate, hate, hate. The last time I had a blood test, the lab techs stuck me twice to get a vein, and that was with a baby needle. The last time I had an IV, the nurses stuck me four times. But we got lucky yesterday...first time's a charm. Anyway, it's probably nothing, and I'm glad that my doctors are so overly cautious. Heck, I'm glad I have health insurance. But sometimes I feel like every time I have one test, the doctors just find something else they want to test for. So that made for a fun Saturday. But hey, you really only need one kidney, right?
Today, I went to visit my grandma, who has been very ill for a number of years because of a series of strokes that she never recovered from. She now seems to be deteriorating faster...she didn't even seem to recognize me today. It's sad to see someone you love in such a diminished state.
Anyway, it's been a rough few days, and I'm just feeling like, my problems aside, there's so much suffering out there. Sometimes I feel really down and I start to lose hope, which is unfortunate, because although I am quite cynical on this blog, I actually deep down believe that most people are good and we're doing our best. I am making a donation to Second Harvest to help the hurricane victims, though, and I might have found someone to donate some clothes to. That makes me feel a little better.
Okay, that's it. I'm done now. Thanks for coming to my little pity party. Tomorrow will be better. And hey, there's a new Entourage on in 10 minutes. Sometimes, when the big issues are hard, you have to find comfort in the superficial, shiny things that can make you laugh for a little while.
I feel guilty complaining, because in reality, I am very, very lucky. I have a nice place to live. I have a loving husband and a great family and cool in-laws. I have wonderful friends. But my health problems are beginning to wear on me. Usually, I try to stay positive. Everyone has his or her burden in life, and mine, so far, has been less-than-stellar health. Collapsed lungs, cancer, fibroid, migraines...I'm only 29, but sometimes I feel like I spend more time at the doctor than some of the elderly do.
The latest thing is some kidney problem that necessitated a CT scan yesterday. Yes, on a Saturday. Apparently, it was "priority." I had to drink all this nasty stuff and get an IV, which I hate, hate, hate. The last time I had a blood test, the lab techs stuck me twice to get a vein, and that was with a baby needle. The last time I had an IV, the nurses stuck me four times. But we got lucky yesterday...first time's a charm. Anyway, it's probably nothing, and I'm glad that my doctors are so overly cautious. Heck, I'm glad I have health insurance. But sometimes I feel like every time I have one test, the doctors just find something else they want to test for. So that made for a fun Saturday. But hey, you really only need one kidney, right?
Today, I went to visit my grandma, who has been very ill for a number of years because of a series of strokes that she never recovered from. She now seems to be deteriorating faster...she didn't even seem to recognize me today. It's sad to see someone you love in such a diminished state.
Anyway, it's been a rough few days, and I'm just feeling like, my problems aside, there's so much suffering out there. Sometimes I feel really down and I start to lose hope, which is unfortunate, because although I am quite cynical on this blog, I actually deep down believe that most people are good and we're doing our best. I am making a donation to Second Harvest to help the hurricane victims, though, and I might have found someone to donate some clothes to. That makes me feel a little better.
Okay, that's it. I'm done now. Thanks for coming to my little pity party. Tomorrow will be better. And hey, there's a new Entourage on in 10 minutes. Sometimes, when the big issues are hard, you have to find comfort in the superficial, shiny things that can make you laugh for a little while.
posted by Astera @ 9:36 PM
1 Comments:
At 1:30 PM,
Bruingirl said…
Astera - I'm sorry to hear about your health problems. I guess some things in life just aren't fair.....I really hope there isn't a problem w/ your kidneys. Feel free to call me anytime to vent. :) I'll come to your pity party any time! :)
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