----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ The Fabulous Adventures of Astera: Writer/Actress for Hire: More Fun with Craigslist

The Fabulous Adventures of Astera: Writer/Actress for Hire

Meet Astera (aka: me), a star in her own mind. Our plucky little heroine has embarked on not one but two difficult, low-paying career paths: writing and acting. Witness the menial jobs! The unreasonable demands! The quirky friends and family! And the glimmer of success just ahead! Through it all, Astera maintains her core beliefs: 1) She is destined to be fabulous 2) Everything is more fun with a cocktail.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

More Fun with Craigslist

Now that I have officially moved down to Dana Point, I have started a job search in earnest. I would prefer to build my freelance clientele, but that will take some time, and I am in need of a more immediate cash flow. So, I have polished my resume and I spend my time trolling the Internet for job postings.

I found this one today on Craigslist:

"Job Title: Princess

We currently have an opening for a witty, sarcastic prima donna in our Irvine office. Show up late, leave early and spend your day chatting on your cell phone, surfing the Internet, reading magazines, listening to your iPod, and if it is not too much trouble do some light bookkeeping in QuickBooks.

Don't bother sending your resume - instead, type a couple of paragraphs in your own words explaining why I should consider you for the position."

Now, I am pretty sure this is not a real job posting, and I don't even know Quickbooks, but I decided to send in a response anyway. Not my finest work, but here it is:

"Subject Line: I'm the Princess!

I don't think this is a real job posting, but nevertheless, I'll take a shot.

You should hire me because what I do all day matches your job description precisely, except I do it at home, and I do it for free. Well, no, that’s not entirely true. I occasionally do a little light copywriting, copy editing, and household budgeting, for which some poor saps pay me handsomely. But they don’t pay often enough, which is why I am perusing Craigslist for new and exciting opportunities.

I brighten every room that I enter, and I am happy regale my co-workers with amusing stories of my fabulous and glamorous life. For instance, this weekend, I sat in the sun on a verandah overlooking the ocean while obliging waiters brought me champagne and mojitos and someone else paid the bill. See? Aren’t you amused already?

In short, I am a joy to be around. A position as office princess would suit me perfectly. I already have the tiara, and I am always looking for an excuse to wear it."

So what do you think? Will these people contact me?


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