----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ The Fabulous Adventures of Astera: Writer/Actress for Hire: If You Sprinkle When You Tinkle...

The Fabulous Adventures of Astera: Writer/Actress for Hire

Meet Astera (aka: me), a star in her own mind. Our plucky little heroine has embarked on not one but two difficult, low-paying career paths: writing and acting. Witness the menial jobs! The unreasonable demands! The quirky friends and family! And the glimmer of success just ahead! Through it all, Astera maintains her core beliefs: 1) She is destined to be fabulous 2) Everything is more fun with a cocktail.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

If You Sprinkle When You Tinkle...

I have never understood women who feel the need to hover over public toilet seats, rather than simply sit their butts down. Even if paper covers are available, some of these women will still squat, rather than sit. The result is pee all over the toilet seat, which of course they can't be bothered to wipe up.

I have small bladder capacity, so I frequently make use of public facilities, and this pee all over the seat troubles me. Why? What's so bad about sitting? Are these women worried that they are going to catch something from a public toilet seat? Pee is sterile, for the most part. While it certainly is an icky sensation to sit down on a damp seat, you're unlikely to contract some dread disease by doing so. And it's also unlikely that any other germs could survive long enough on a toilet seat to infect you. Besides, unless you have open, oozing sores on your thighs or bottom, your skin is enough of a protective barrier to prevent infection. So what's the deal? Does anyone know anyone who has actually gotten an infection from a toilet seat? And I mean an infection that was confirmed to come from a toilet seat, not just apocrpha or an urban legend. If this has actually happened, I would like to know about it. Until then, sit your butt down and stop spraying pee everywhere!

While I'm on the subject, what is the deal with women who refuse to flush the toilet with their hands? So many women seem to flush only with their foot. I can kind of understand this, because there are probably more germs on the toilet handle than there are on the seat, but come on! Aren't you going to wash your hands before you leave the restroom anyway? That should get rid of any germs you might pick up by touching the toilet handle. Honestly, people. Use a little common sense.

Actually, I prefer the manual flush toilets, even if people do tend to flush with their feet. Those automatic flush toilets never work for me. Either they flush while I'm still on the toilet, giving me that oh-so-pleasant bidet effect, or they refuse to flush at all, so I'm stuck in the stall, waving my hand in front of the electronic eye and jumping up and down to try and get the damn thing to flush. Sometimes there's a little manual override flush button to use, but sometimes, it's impossible to find. So either the toilet flushes two or three times while you're in there (a waste of water), or it won't flush at all (aesthetically unappealing, to say the least.)

And one more thing, while I'm on this bathroom rant. I hate it when there's a long line for the bathroom and one of the toilets hasn't been flushed. This means that most of the women in line will refuse to use that stall! Not me. I'll go in and try to flush the toilet. If it doesn't flush or is clogged, I won't use it. But if it flushes, everything is fine. It's ready to use. But most women won't even bother to try and flush a soiled toilet. They'll just avoid using it. And when there's a long line and only three stalls and one hasn't been flushed, that just means everyone has to wait longer.

So here are my rules for using public bathrooms:
1. Don't pee on the seat. If you really, really feel the need to hover (and why you would, I don't know), at least wipe up after yourself. Don't be inconsiderate.
2. Just flush with your hand. You're going to wash them anyway, aren't you?
3. Don't automatically avoid a soiled toilet. So the last person forgot to flush. That doesn't mean the toilet is contaminated for all future uses!

Seriously, people. Get a grip. I would venture to guess you're more likely to pick up an infection from shaking hands with someone than you are from using a public bathroom.

Thank you for indulging me in my rant. Oh, and another thing...if there's a long line, you can zip up your pants and tuck in your shirt after you vacate the stall. This is particularly applicable at intermission during a play or other performance. We all have to go. Get in, get out, and get on with it. That's what I say.


  • At 6:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You have just described one of my biggest pet peeves. These are the same women that complain about men peeing on the toliet seat and leaving the seat up. Thanks, maybe some of these women will get the hint. There is nothing worse that sitting down on a wet toliet seat.

  • At 1:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I agree with the sitting on the seat bit, but I will always flush with my foot. It's better for your back since you don't have to bend over, and, frankly, I believe the toilets were designed in this way. It's a ridiculous motion to flush it with your hand unless it is a regular toilet like you have at home. But the lock on the stall has many more germs on it than the toilet seat or flusher, and I touch that. But honestly, just flush with your foot. It's easier. I think you're being a little high and mighty about that.

    Oh, and you're being a little optimistic and underappreciative of people's modesty if you think they're going to come out of the stalls with their flys unzipped.

  • At 6:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I don't sit on toilet seats and it's not because I'm paranoid that I'm going to catch a disease. It's simply because no one can be sure who's using the toilet before them. Not everyone has the same idea of cleanliness as the next person.

    Another thing is I don't 'sprinkle' I guess you could say on the seat and I always check to make sure I didn't make a mess and if I do I wipe it up. Nowadays there are infections and rashes and all kinds of thngs that people can spread. Also, even if you don't get a break out or infection it's just the thought that, like I said ealier, people come from different backgrounds and they may not be as 'clean' as the next person.

    A blunt but clear way of putting it is: You're basically rubbing your bare butt up against a stranger.


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