----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ The Fabulous Adventures of Astera: Writer/Actress for Hire: Cars

The Fabulous Adventures of Astera: Writer/Actress for Hire

Meet Astera (aka: me), a star in her own mind. Our plucky little heroine has embarked on not one but two difficult, low-paying career paths: writing and acting. Witness the menial jobs! The unreasonable demands! The quirky friends and family! And the glimmer of success just ahead! Through it all, Astera maintains her core beliefs: 1) She is destined to be fabulous 2) Everything is more fun with a cocktail.

Monday, December 20, 2004


You know what I hate? I hate it when people deliberately park over the line so that they take up two (or more) parking spaces. The worst offenders seem to be ginormous SUVs (F--- you, H2!), but anyone in an ostentatious new car is at risk for this kind of obnoxious behavior. Porsche owners, BMW drivers, Mercedes aficionados--you know who you are. I have never understood this type of behavior. Well, of course you don't want your shiny new car to get all dinged up. But aren't you just advertising the fact that you have a fabulous new car by parking it in such a noticeable manner? And therefore, aren't you just asking for someone to make mischief? When you take up extra parking spots in a crowded parking lot, you're going to piss someone off.

But here is the craziest thing: The other day, I saw a car parked right in the middle of two parking spots. The car was centered directly over the dividing line! And, okay, I do have a miniscule degree of sympathy for people who own really expensive cars. It would cost a lot to get those dings fixed, so I understand why they want to be careful. But this car that was parked in such an egregious manner was a Ford. To be more specific, it was a Ford Focus. And not even a brand-new one, either. It had definitely seen better days. I think it had been in a serious accident already. Honestly, people. If you drive a crappy car, you have no right to try to "protect" it by taking up more than one space. That's just sad.

While we're on the subject, here's another thing I hate: those BMW 318 TIs. They're just so silly! It's like, "Hey, look at me! I wish I could afford a real BMW, but I can't. This is the best I can do, but I'm so obsessed with labels and status that I hope you'll think I'm moneyed and sophisticated anyway. Please, please, please pay attention to me!" Why bother? If you really, really want to drive a BMW, why don't you just save up for a more impressive version. Those things look like toy cars, and not in a cool way like the Mini, either.

Okay, that's my rant for the day. (So far...you never know what might set me off this evening!)


  • At 9:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear Astera,
    As a good friend of yours who pays attention to cars, I feel I have to take exception to your comment about the BMW 318Ti. First of all, were you aware that this model isn't even marketed in the US? It is a BMW International model, and as just about the only compact car they offer it fills a necessary place in the European market. Furthermore, I agree with you about the hideous selfishness of monstrous, gas-guzzling vehicles. It seems unfair, then, to give someone a hard time for purchasing a compact car that completely out-performs (and is probably more fun to drive than) a Ford Focus. I would guess that purchasers of the 318Ti choose the BMW for reasons other than brand status. And I bet there are very few of those taking up 2 parking spaces. ;)
    p.s. Sorry my only post so far has been a rant. I love your blog. Keep it up, you blogging goddess.

  • At 6:31 PM, Blogger Kelly Love said…

    If I had a nickel for every time I had to climb into my car through the passenger side so I can drive home...
    I have a "small SUV" - a Honda CRV. Tasteful, understated. I also pay for daily parking (actually, the magazine I work for pays, but still...). No less than three days a week, I have to play parking roulette because the freaking Tahoe in space #3 is over MY line in space 4. Even better, it's next to a funeral home so sometimes it's the hearse on the other side. I stand in the parking lot, trying to figure out if I can get in through my sunroof, crying out to the parking gods to strike the assclown with the Tahoe dead.
    And I hate, hate, hate the Hummer. I met a guy with one a few weeks ago and, when he told me what he drove, I asked him if his impotency problem was physical or mental. Hello, giant penis replacement!

  • At 7:46 PM, Blogger Kelly Love said…

    p.s. and thanks for the link! You're on mine as well, superstar.


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