----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ The Fabulous Adventures of Astera: Writer/Actress for Hire: Blah

The Fabulous Adventures of Astera: Writer/Actress for Hire

Meet Astera (aka: me), a star in her own mind. Our plucky little heroine has embarked on not one but two difficult, low-paying career paths: writing and acting. Witness the menial jobs! The unreasonable demands! The quirky friends and family! And the glimmer of success just ahead! Through it all, Astera maintains her core beliefs: 1) She is destined to be fabulous 2) Everything is more fun with a cocktail.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Blah

We've been having beautiful weather lately and I've managed to get outside to enjoy the sunshine, but I think it must take a while for the sun to interact with your brain chemistry and improve your mood, because I still feel as depressed as I did when it was gray and gloomy outside. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to. I was so excited to send out all my headshots and voiceover CDs, but now I am beset with fear. What if all the agents hate me? What if no one even wants to meet with me? Then what? Is it the end of my dream? Do I go to law school, as my father urges? I haven't heard anything from the agents, but they probably only received my packages today. Instant gratification! That's what I want!

At least I will be making a small amount of money tomorrow--I'm substitute teaching for sixth graders at the local middle school. I think I'm going to have some math classes, too, which is frightening, because it's been a looong time since I've done math. The kids are probably better at it than I am! Better bring my calculator. Maybe I can use my acting skills to fake it.

My father also thinks that I should write a book or pitch this blog as a column to our local newspaper. I am glad that he holds my writing skills in such esteem, but I am crippled with self-doubt. This is really just an online diary for me, and if it occasionally amuses the reader, so much the better. But I don't really think I could be amusing for a mass audience. And while I would love to write a book, it seems so overwhelming! Books are so long! Honestly, I get enough rejection as a freelance writer and an actress. Do I really want to take on any more by trying to get a book published?

Okay, I think I've indulged in enough pity and doubt for one evening. As Scarlett O'Hara might say, "I won't think about that just now. I'll think about that tomorrow." And maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

posted by Astera @ 9:10 PM  

2 Comments:

  • At 10:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Astera: Do not lose the faith. Tomorrow will be a better than today. Do not dispair. You obviously are young, bright, and it sounds like you have the love of your father who I am sure is urging you to pursue your dreams, whatever they may be. So, i would not recommend law school. It lacks the creativity you obviously are seeking. Stick to your dream. And stop trying to get instant gratification. The pursuit of your career is not like day trading in the stock market. Take the long view. For in that you shall find your salvation.

    Kanenas

     

  • At 10:04 AM, Blogger Bruingirl said…

    Who wants instant gratification when you can toil for years on end without any positive feedback??? I mean, really...there's nothing better than working for years for pennies, doing something that is mediocre... ;-)
    SIRIUSly (sorry, I had to do that...stockbroker joke) though, you should read the UCLA alumni magazine about that guy who did all the artwork for Cranium. Now HE faced a lot of rejection before he got anywhere. It just means that statistically, you're closer to your goals! :)

     

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