----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ The Fabulous Adventures of Astera: Writer/Actress for Hire: Potty Humor

The Fabulous Adventures of Astera: Writer/Actress for Hire

Meet Astera (aka: me), a star in her own mind. Our plucky little heroine has embarked on not one but two difficult, low-paying career paths: writing and acting. Witness the menial jobs! The unreasonable demands! The quirky friends and family! And the glimmer of success just ahead! Through it all, Astera maintains her core beliefs: 1) She is destined to be fabulous 2) Everything is more fun with a cocktail.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Potty Humor

As those of you who know me know, I have a bladder the size of a pea. If there is a chance to use a restroom, I will take it. My husband jokes that I should take a Polaroid of each bathroom I visit and then compile them into a coffee table book. I suppose weirder things have sold.

Anyway, yesterday I was at Mel's Diner in the city with one of my friends who was in town for the weekend. We'd finished our meal and figured out the bill, but we had to pay up front. I asked if she'd mind paying while I ran to the restroom. But there was a girl in front of me. So I dutifully waited my turn. We were waiting and waiting, but no one came out of the bathroom. The girl in front of me brought out her compact and fixed her lipstick and everything, and then I guess she got tired of waiting because she left.

I was glad to be next in line because at this point, I'd already waited about 7 minutes, which is an awfully long time for one person to be in a public restroom. I was almost to the point where I was ready to leave, because who wants to use the restroom after one person's been in there so long? It's probably all stinky. But I had to drop my friend off where she was staying and I didn't want to try and find parking to come in and use that restroom. So I'd have to drop her off and drive all the way home, so I really needed to use this restroom.

Just then, I thought I heard the toilet flush, and I figured, "Okay, it can't be much longer now." But it was! I rattled the doorknob as a polite hint that someone was waiting. Then I got tired of being polite and rapped sharply on the door. Still nothing. Finally, I caught a waitress's eye. "Do I need a key or something?" I asked. "Oh, yeah. There's a key up front."

So I got the key and opened the door very gingerly, because I still thought there was someone inside. But there was not. The restroom was totally empty, and it had two stalls! Now, here's my question: Why wasn't there a sign? You know, just a little piece of grimy paper with "Get key from front" written in marker would have done the trick. Maybe it's a game to the waitstaff. Maybe they like to watch and see how long it takes before someone gets fed up and stops waiting. I don't know. But I sure felt stupid!


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