----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ ----------------------------------------------- */ The Fabulous Adventures of Astera: Writer/Actress for Hire: Audition Timeline

The Fabulous Adventures of Astera: Writer/Actress for Hire

Meet Astera (aka: me), a star in her own mind. Our plucky little heroine has embarked on not one but two difficult, low-paying career paths: writing and acting. Witness the menial jobs! The unreasonable demands! The quirky friends and family! And the glimmer of success just ahead! Through it all, Astera maintains her core beliefs: 1) She is destined to be fabulous 2) Everything is more fun with a cocktail.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Audition Timeline

While waiting to hear back after an audition, a whole mix of emotions come into play. It’s sort of like the seven stages of grief. Here’s what I experienced after my last audition.

Wednesday (immediately after audition): Feel relieved and happy at having given a good reading. Have a sense of pride over some of the director’s encouraging comments. “We’ll be making the decision sometime next week,” he said.

Thursday: Still feeling good as I recount the tale of my audition to friends and family members. Am buoyed by their reactions: nearly everyone agrees with me that it must have gone really well. This could be it! This could be my shot! It’s a lead role in a “dramatic reenactment” and will be shown on a well-respected cable channel! The pay is low, but who cares! It’s all about exposure, baby!

Friday: Slight concern. Have I jinxed myself by talking too much about the audition? Push negative thoughts out of my head.

Saturday: It’s a beautiful weekend and I’ve got nothing to worry about. Still feel fairly confident in my performance.

Sunday evening: Anticipation sets in. Maybe I’ll be hearing from the director soon!

Monday: Keep my cell phone near me at all times, but don’t really expect a call yet. It’s probably still too early in the week.

Tuesday: Open and close cell phone frequently just to be sure I don’t have any missed calls. Think back over audition. Feel certain I messed up. Didn’t I mispronounce a word or two? Did I look at the camera when I should have been interacting with the reader? Did I seem overeager? Not eager enough? Cynicism sets in. The director didn’t really like me—he just gives positive feedback to everyone. Try to remain positive and reassure myself that it is still early in the week.

Wednesday: Become increasingly jumpy every time cell phone rings. A dark sense of doubt sets in. The director said I was “physically right for the part,” so if I don’t get it, it must mean that he hated my acting! I am the worst actress ever! I’ll never get a part, ever! Why, why, why?

Thursday: Cannot stand the suspense any longer. Am tempted to call and ask if decision has been made yet, but worry that I will seem unprofessional by breaking the “Don’t call us, we’ll call you” rule. Besides, week’s not over yet! Brief moment of hope shines through as I consider that perhaps director is running behind schedule and no decisions have been made. I could still be in the running! As evening approaches, false hope fades. Doubts begin anew. Why? What’s wrong with me? Am I really the worst actress in the world? Will my career be snuffed out before it even begins? Will I ever even get another audition? What am I doing wrong?

Friday: Resignation sets in. I didn’t get it. I haven’t officially heard a “no,” but complete radio silence is never a good sign. I even sent an email to the address I was given for questions to see if a decision had been made yet, and I got no reponse at all. That seems a tiny bit rude. Why give out an email address if you're not going to respond to emails? Surely if they had really liked me, they wouldn’t have tortured me all week by not calling. I didn’t have what they were looking for. Depression sets in. Am doomed to live out my life working for a lowly publication of ill repute. Will never have fabulous lifestyle or critical success. Clearly, this is the end of the line for me. Cannot even hack it for a part in a low-budget series. Cry. Drink. Hope that another audition will someday come my way, but try to come to terms with the fact that it may never happen for me. Cry some more. Sleep.


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